So here's the plan, I finally finished one of the books that I have been sputtering through for the past year. Luckily, this is one of my requirements to do so. Unfortunately, I also said that I need to understand these instead of just mowing through them. So in order to do this I have to read them again and as I come to certain quotes, excerpts, ideas, etc in the book I will highlight them and do a blog post on it discussing what I think of it and some such. It may be one post for a chapter, or some chapters will have many many posts, either way, it will work as it shall. As I do so, I feel that it would be greatly encouraging if you nice folks in cyberspace would care to comment and respond to these and let me know what you think about that particular section, and see if we can't all learn a bit by seeing things in a different light.
Maybe if it irks me enough along the way I'll even throw in a few posts here and there with sections of another thought exploration "thingy" that I'm working on. It is uber annoying at times for me to keep that topic out of other topics even if it seems so pervasive in everything, and I just want to get it all down and out! But that would be a long long long long long blog post. Another day I suppose.
Now if you'll excuse me, I have push ups that await me, as I have an elephant to eat. nom nom.
Sunday, February 24, 2013
Captain's Blog, Stardate 2013.02.24, U.S.S. Enterprise - Soreness gah
WeeeeAhhhhhWaaaaaaOoooooo
So my numbers for my requirements aren't great, well, so far they're abysmal. I took a while to get started, and now that I'm moving, I'm not at all close to being as capable as I used to be and know I can be, so the numbers are building rather slowly, gap between where I am and where I should be is building quickly. BUT, the rate at which I am falling behind is slowing ever so slightly. I figure I should put it out of my mind where I could/should/would be and just keep moving, and hopefully the numbers will take care of themselves. I hope. If I don't stop and keep going then I should get ever closer to my goal. So I'm just going to ignore all the naysayers in my head and just move. Like in Nemo. "Just keep swimming"
If I'm wrong and I should be shaking with fear, then I can freeze in fear and anxiety later. That does me no good now, and dwelling on how far I am does not get me any closer. If I can only do 30 P/U in a row for now, then that what I will do, and as long as I continue to do them, 40, 50, 60, and maybe one day even 100 would come in it's own time.
Sunday, February 17, 2013
Captain's Blog, Stardate 2013.02.17, U.S.S. Enterprise - Happy thoughts and how to keep thoughts happy, and some not as happy stuff.
Happy stuff:
Whoa. The Chinese new year banquet performance was incredible. I really liked the fight choreography, and the lion/dragon dance performances. Nothing like seeing something done so well to have a goal to aspire to.
I find though, the personal speeches resonated with me the most. It provides something to think about when you hear about the very human struggles of the people you see around the kwoon, whom until now, in your mind seem perfect. It never seemed apparent, nor did it really occur to me that maybe other people have felt of would feel as I do at times in this journey. Which now that I say it seems rather obvious, but when you look up to the leaders in our kwoon, it's hard to imagine that they might have struggles as well. I find that this could really help us connect with each other better, if we would just be more open, and be more receptive perhaps. I guess moving forward I think I would do well to listen and watch more.
Last note on this though, I thought it was really cool how quickly everything was cleaned up after when everyone lent a hand. One minute it was all there, and the next everything was neatly put away. That really speaks volumes to what can be accomplished with a team. Again, seems obvious, but it's a tad different to be right there to see it.
How to keep thoughts happy:
I have heard many times that the way to move forward, is to be patient, and pick a few things to focus on, and do those, once you have done those, then choose a few new ones, and so on and so forth. I'll be honest and say that I did not understand this for a long time. I used to look at everything I learned, and voraciously attack everything, giving very little thought to focus, and just push as hard as possible, in a rushed and ravenous fashion.
I think I have found but one reason why I should take this advice. I found that after a period of time, when you try to do everything, you only marginally improve, because you only have limited resources. This is acceptable for a while but at some point it'll creep into your mind to consider how much time and effort you consistently put forth, and yet you do not see a commensurate increase in performance.
Which is one of the reasons why I now feel that it is imperative to focus on no more than just a few things at a time. This way, you can track, and see your progress, when it isn't spread out over so many things, and it ends up being constant positive reinforcement to keep on going. Otherwise, it is difficult to sustain substantial efforts when it is difficult to see your progress.
I guess this is another thing pertaining to patience, which I feel like I keep finding, and losing, and finding, and losing. I'm starting to feel like I'm repeating myself already. What if I really am just constantly finding and losing the same things over and over? Have I not been learning the lessons before but just thinking I did? Am I just repeatedly lying to myself? I don't know, but I probably will get back to this in a future blog post.
Not as happy thoughts:
This is going to be another post about my knee. I recently went to the doctor, as my previous "strain injury" seems to have come back. After my doctor passionately berated me for what felt like an hour and me quietly listening, he told me that it might be a bit more involved, and that I should wait for another MRI. After more "advice" from my doc, he set forth more restrictions which include: knee brace and orthotics, or else no training! Not sure what to think. This is uber frustrating, because I am almost useless with my left side. So with my right knee in a brace it's going to hinder my leg cannons a great deal. Either I should stop kicking, or learn to kick with my left side. Then again, I should focus on what I CAN do and not on the CAN'Ts. I know this and yet it doesn't make it easy.
/rant
Whoa. The Chinese new year banquet performance was incredible. I really liked the fight choreography, and the lion/dragon dance performances. Nothing like seeing something done so well to have a goal to aspire to.
I find though, the personal speeches resonated with me the most. It provides something to think about when you hear about the very human struggles of the people you see around the kwoon, whom until now, in your mind seem perfect. It never seemed apparent, nor did it really occur to me that maybe other people have felt of would feel as I do at times in this journey. Which now that I say it seems rather obvious, but when you look up to the leaders in our kwoon, it's hard to imagine that they might have struggles as well. I find that this could really help us connect with each other better, if we would just be more open, and be more receptive perhaps. I guess moving forward I think I would do well to listen and watch more.
Last note on this though, I thought it was really cool how quickly everything was cleaned up after when everyone lent a hand. One minute it was all there, and the next everything was neatly put away. That really speaks volumes to what can be accomplished with a team. Again, seems obvious, but it's a tad different to be right there to see it.
How to keep thoughts happy:
I have heard many times that the way to move forward, is to be patient, and pick a few things to focus on, and do those, once you have done those, then choose a few new ones, and so on and so forth. I'll be honest and say that I did not understand this for a long time. I used to look at everything I learned, and voraciously attack everything, giving very little thought to focus, and just push as hard as possible, in a rushed and ravenous fashion.
I think I have found but one reason why I should take this advice. I found that after a period of time, when you try to do everything, you only marginally improve, because you only have limited resources. This is acceptable for a while but at some point it'll creep into your mind to consider how much time and effort you consistently put forth, and yet you do not see a commensurate increase in performance.
Which is one of the reasons why I now feel that it is imperative to focus on no more than just a few things at a time. This way, you can track, and see your progress, when it isn't spread out over so many things, and it ends up being constant positive reinforcement to keep on going. Otherwise, it is difficult to sustain substantial efforts when it is difficult to see your progress.
I guess this is another thing pertaining to patience, which I feel like I keep finding, and losing, and finding, and losing. I'm starting to feel like I'm repeating myself already. What if I really am just constantly finding and losing the same things over and over? Have I not been learning the lessons before but just thinking I did? Am I just repeatedly lying to myself? I don't know, but I probably will get back to this in a future blog post.
Not as happy thoughts:
This is going to be another post about my knee. I recently went to the doctor, as my previous "strain injury" seems to have come back. After my doctor passionately berated me for what felt like an hour and me quietly listening, he told me that it might be a bit more involved, and that I should wait for another MRI. After more "advice" from my doc, he set forth more restrictions which include: knee brace and orthotics, or else no training! Not sure what to think. This is uber frustrating, because I am almost useless with my left side. So with my right knee in a brace it's going to hinder my leg cannons a great deal. Either I should stop kicking, or learn to kick with my left side. Then again, I should focus on what I CAN do and not on the CAN'Ts. I know this and yet it doesn't make it easy.
/rant
Sunday, February 10, 2013
Captain's Blog, Stardate 2013.02.10, U.S.S. Enterprise - HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!
This is going to be just a fun blog day.
I recently found a meme, http://becauseracecar.org/ which is hilarious because I have actually had some of these questions from my friends.
For example,
Why drive something that only gets 200km to a 70 litre tank?
Because Race Car
Why do you need so many cars?
Because Race Car
Why are you always working on your car?
Because Race Car
Why are you always covered in oil?
Because Race Car
Why don't you just buy one reliable, economical, new car instead?
Because Race Car
As hilarious as this is, it actually does have something to do with kung fu. Maybe you know where this is going, maybe not. I'm quite certain I'm not alone in the following.
Why are you randomly doing pushups?
Because Kung Fu
Why don't you answer your phone MTW nights?
Because Kung Fu
Why do you spend so much time training?
Because Kung Fu
Why do you have so many bruises?
Because Kung Fu
Why are you so awesome?
Because Kung Fu
Hehehehe
Happy Chinese New Year!!!
I recently found a meme, http://becauseracecar.org/ which is hilarious because I have actually had some of these questions from my friends.
For example,
Why drive something that only gets 200km to a 70 litre tank?
Because Race Car
Why do you need so many cars?
Because Race Car
Why are you always working on your car?
Because Race Car
Why are you always covered in oil?
Because Race Car
Why don't you just buy one reliable, economical, new car instead?
Because Race Car
As hilarious as this is, it actually does have something to do with kung fu. Maybe you know where this is going, maybe not. I'm quite certain I'm not alone in the following.
Why are you randomly doing pushups?
Because Kung Fu
Why don't you answer your phone MTW nights?
Because Kung Fu
Why do you spend so much time training?
Because Kung Fu
Why do you have so many bruises?
Because Kung Fu
Why are you so awesome?
Because Kung Fu
Hehehehe
Happy Chinese New Year!!!
Tuesday, January 29, 2013
Captain's Blog, Stardate 2013.01.29, U.S.S. Enterprise - I'm not sure what to make of this.
So I haven't been to class in a while. Since the new year really. I was away until the 19th, and when I was back, I had a pretty nasty cold, which now turned into the a really large lumpy sore throat, which is the flu now.
The last few weeks have filled me with a lot of anxiety over things I have to admit I have very little control over. Like when I'll get better, about all the weird side effects I'm getting on my current medication, how my new career change is going, how I'm a bit stymied when it comes to my I Ho Chuan goals (which are long overdue already. which makes me scared that I've failing before it even begins), and the list goes on.
But that's not the point of this post. Fact is, it sounds a lot like complaining, which is not where this is going. The reality is I'd be really surprised if I am the only person who has or is feeling this way. I believe a lot of this anxiety has built up specifically because I have spent so little time around the kwoon.
Last night, I drove by the kwoon, long after it was locked and there was not a soul in sight. I have no idea what motivated me to do so, but I sat and stared through the windows for a while. I looked at the dragon in the corner, the tiles on the walls, the lion heads, the framed photos near the ceiling, trying to take in every little detail. For a moment I felt like I was inside, even though I wasn't, and I felt a sense of calm for a few minutes that I am still confused about.
I decided that today I would go to the kwoon during sansou class, regardless of how I felt, at least just to sit and watch as much as possible. Which I did. I was expecting to see, watch, learn, think about kung fu a little bit as I have before, but something even more surprising happened. I didn't think about anything at all. I was just watching. I wasn't really thinking about what I was seeing, because I was amazed at how calm I felt for the first time in a while.
I still don't clearly understand what this is all about, and I apologize if it seems like I'm rambling. These last two days have left me lots to think about. But what I do know is that somehow, without me knowing when, the kwoon has become very much a part of me, and I hope, me a part of it. If I was a battery, it appears that the kwoon has become a charging dock for me.
Part of the reason why I am chewing on this so much is because I feel like I am right around the point that I am looking for but I can't seem to zoom in on it. I keep going around the very thing I am looking for. I like to try and keep things clear, straightforward, in a very quantitative way. I feel like this is going to take awhile to sort, define, and understand in a quantitative way.
The last few weeks have filled me with a lot of anxiety over things I have to admit I have very little control over. Like when I'll get better, about all the weird side effects I'm getting on my current medication, how my new career change is going, how I'm a bit stymied when it comes to my I Ho Chuan goals (which are long overdue already. which makes me scared that I've failing before it even begins), and the list goes on.
But that's not the point of this post. Fact is, it sounds a lot like complaining, which is not where this is going. The reality is I'd be really surprised if I am the only person who has or is feeling this way. I believe a lot of this anxiety has built up specifically because I have spent so little time around the kwoon.
Last night, I drove by the kwoon, long after it was locked and there was not a soul in sight. I have no idea what motivated me to do so, but I sat and stared through the windows for a while. I looked at the dragon in the corner, the tiles on the walls, the lion heads, the framed photos near the ceiling, trying to take in every little detail. For a moment I felt like I was inside, even though I wasn't, and I felt a sense of calm for a few minutes that I am still confused about.
I decided that today I would go to the kwoon during sansou class, regardless of how I felt, at least just to sit and watch as much as possible. Which I did. I was expecting to see, watch, learn, think about kung fu a little bit as I have before, but something even more surprising happened. I didn't think about anything at all. I was just watching. I wasn't really thinking about what I was seeing, because I was amazed at how calm I felt for the first time in a while.
I still don't clearly understand what this is all about, and I apologize if it seems like I'm rambling. These last two days have left me lots to think about. But what I do know is that somehow, without me knowing when, the kwoon has become very much a part of me, and I hope, me a part of it. If I was a battery, it appears that the kwoon has become a charging dock for me.
Part of the reason why I am chewing on this so much is because I feel like I am right around the point that I am looking for but I can't seem to zoom in on it. I keep going around the very thing I am looking for. I like to try and keep things clear, straightforward, in a very quantitative way. I feel like this is going to take awhile to sort, define, and understand in a quantitative way.
Monday, January 28, 2013
Captain's Blog, Stardate 2013.01.28, U.S.S. Enterprise - Le Tiger Trial
Whew. I totally had lots to write about this. But my notes aren't detailed and I have the following:
Things learned:
1) Consistent practice is really important. Consistency is really important. I wrote this 5 times. Suffice to say I really wanted to write about that. It appears as if it was an explosive flare going off in my head as opposed to the standard lightbulb.
2)Watching the black belts do their forms was really really cool. It was really inspiring, in an "omg did you see that!?" kinda way. Then if you think about it and replay it in your head, you realize you can't see just one specific thing that they did differently. And if you try to describe what it was, it is really really difficult. But you know that it was completely different than what you saw it as. It sets a whole new benchmark, and yet you don't see how that is even on the same axis of what your previous benchmark was.
Anyway, I'm not sure how to go into that any further, but hopefully my rambling makes sense to someone. I don't even completely understand what I am getting at, but that's what i do have so far. maybe I'll figure it out in the future.
Things learned:
1) Consistent practice is really important. Consistency is really important. I wrote this 5 times. Suffice to say I really wanted to write about that. It appears as if it was an explosive flare going off in my head as opposed to the standard lightbulb.
2)Watching the black belts do their forms was really really cool. It was really inspiring, in an "omg did you see that!?" kinda way. Then if you think about it and replay it in your head, you realize you can't see just one specific thing that they did differently. And if you try to describe what it was, it is really really difficult. But you know that it was completely different than what you saw it as. It sets a whole new benchmark, and yet you don't see how that is even on the same axis of what your previous benchmark was.
Anyway, I'm not sure how to go into that any further, but hopefully my rambling makes sense to someone. I don't even completely understand what I am getting at, but that's what i do have so far. maybe I'll figure it out in the future.
Saturday, January 12, 2013
Captain's Blog, Stardate 2013.01.12, U.S.S. Enterprise - Where in the world??
Dear cyberspace,
I have been out of town since new year's eve. Miss the wide open space of home. le sigh. Hectic rush to get things done and cramped high density population areas leads to a poor atmosphere to practice kung fu, and physical conditioning. High carb local diet is making me tired and my body really wants to go back to my previous high protein diet. So suffice to say I am nowhere near my peak physical performance.
Also hurt my back a few days ago. It's gotten better, as I have been taking it really really easy, so we'll see where that goes. As much as I am enjoying myself at the moment, part of me definitely looks forward to home, open space, and training. For now I have been practicing the hand parts of my forms. I guess when I get back I'll have to do only stances to get caught up. Definitely scared I'll forget my forms. eeek.
Anyway hope everyone is having a really good start to the year!
PS I know this is a no brainer. But i find that it is really easy to take certain things for granted, like the air at home. That clean, crisp air is not a luxury that everyone in the world knows, especially those that are born and bred in high density population areas. So definitely take a moment to enjoy that which is so easily forgotten. That's just one of the things that I don't really think about, but makes a huge difference.
PPS I'm shrinking. Losing so much mass and muscle tone. Hopefully it's mostly in my head. :(
I have been out of town since new year's eve. Miss the wide open space of home. le sigh. Hectic rush to get things done and cramped high density population areas leads to a poor atmosphere to practice kung fu, and physical conditioning. High carb local diet is making me tired and my body really wants to go back to my previous high protein diet. So suffice to say I am nowhere near my peak physical performance.
Also hurt my back a few days ago. It's gotten better, as I have been taking it really really easy, so we'll see where that goes. As much as I am enjoying myself at the moment, part of me definitely looks forward to home, open space, and training. For now I have been practicing the hand parts of my forms. I guess when I get back I'll have to do only stances to get caught up. Definitely scared I'll forget my forms. eeek.
Anyway hope everyone is having a really good start to the year!
PS I know this is a no brainer. But i find that it is really easy to take certain things for granted, like the air at home. That clean, crisp air is not a luxury that everyone in the world knows, especially those that are born and bred in high density population areas. So definitely take a moment to enjoy that which is so easily forgotten. That's just one of the things that I don't really think about, but makes a huge difference.
PPS I'm shrinking. Losing so much mass and muscle tone. Hopefully it's mostly in my head. :(
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